You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this boner is exhausting
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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