I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
