He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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