I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
