I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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