At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the day after is always just damage control
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
