do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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