...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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