you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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