At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
