Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
