I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
