Having a random hookup so left but love u
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
