everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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