Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
