areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
