So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
