I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
