I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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