how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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