ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
