Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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