oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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