"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
