the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
