did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
