69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he thought i was a dude.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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