the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
