Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
