Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
