I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
