it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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