Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
