whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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