And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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