We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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