I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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