I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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