two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
