Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
