I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
