Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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