there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
