How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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