She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
