Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
