Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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