I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
