That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
