I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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