Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
