Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
