Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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