Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
