i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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