if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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