Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize