So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
