If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
