somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize