I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
