Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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