Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
