walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
