I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
