Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
