I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
