just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize