if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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