brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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