I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
